Uncertainty and Self-Care

Change is chaotic. The existing form is falling away and what will replace it has not yet come into being. It is a liminal, in between time, a time of becoming.

I think we are in such a time. Where I live, in Buffalo, NY, we have had more snow in 2022 than ever before in the recorded history of weather. In the month of December this year, we had more snow than the entire year of 2021.

Lake Erie is a large body of water that determines our weather. When it does not freeze, cold air from the north crosses over it and dumps a lot of snow on Western New York, hence the term lake effect snow.

But the last storm, the one that cancelled Christmas day, postponing celebrations until the driving ban was lifted, was so big, it required new terminology. It was a bomb cyclone that started with a flash freeze. Dramatic events like this cannot help but grab our attention.

What is going on? During the storm, we find ourselves in survival mode hoping and praying that everyone will be okay. Losing power when it’s cold, not having enough food or a way to get it and needing help when no emergency vehicles can come to you triggers survival brain. Our functioning is limited to how to get through the storm.

So yes, we are experiencing changes in weather. As well as financial insecurity and health care insecurity. What are these changes telling us? If how things were is behind us, what do we want to create going forward? When change is on the horizon and it’s much bigger than us, what can we do?

Shore up on self-care. Pay attention to your well-being, become aware of your movements, the sensations of touch, and to balancing your life. Are you working too much? Are you giving yourself enough of what you need to feel well?

Also, pay attention to your rhythms. Do you rest after a strenuous activity? Do you eat, sleep, and work at regular times? Having consistent rhythms provides a scaffolding for security.

Young children do not know the days of the week, events on the calendar, or basically on any given day, what will happen next. They might wonder what’s coming and feel insecure, unless there are rhythms for them to become familiar with how things go, the flow of life.

When adults are is in a time of insecurity, it is good to remember that not only rhythms, but the same physical care we give young children will serve us well. Rocking with my grandsons in the old rocker from my grandpa is soothing to them and to me as well.

The children also like to have dance parties, walks outside, nature exploration and to build things. The three-year-old has recently started skipping instead of walking or running to wherever he wants to go. Skipping requires balance, it is light and playful.

And when you engage in contralateral movement, brain connections are made. Young children are building nerve networks all the time. In times of uncertainty, we might need to rebuild them because stress causes them to break down. Have you noticed how you are forgetful in times of stress?

In a nutshell, we are in a time of uncertainty or change which can trigger insecurity. We cannot change the weather, the power system that brings us electricity, the financial system and many other things, but we can ground and strengthen ourselves with bodily self-care.

What helps is to give ourselves what we would give a young child, to make self-care a priority. To remember that this moment in time will pass. That we have what it takes to make it.

In the end, what we aim for, the best possible outcome of a time of discomfort and struggle is the gift of wisdom.

And then I imagine a world where the wise women and men will lead the way, sharing what they have learned so to benefit others.

The future will come, and we will be all the wiser because of the experience of the present with its uncertainty and strife.

Would you like to hear more about the wise woman ways? Email or direct message me if you do. I would like to post about topics that interest people.

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