Will you pass through that opening or walk through that door? It is the one you have been led to, the one that leads to your next adventure, the completion of a task, getting to the other side. The one that your inner guide tells you, “Go ahead”, but fear holds you back.
We experience thresholds lifelong. The first being birth and the last being death. In between, there are big ones and small ones to pass through. Sometimes they are so narrow and difficult to enter that it feels like passing through an eye of the needle.
My grandson will turn three in August. That’s a big threshold for the young child. It is when they begin to realize their separation from others, it’s the birth of the “I”, a taste of selfhood. They are no longer one with the universe, but a separate individual capable of connecting with others.
How is the little guy managing it? It is a moment of looking back. He is talking about his babyhood, reminding us that he is still little (yittle in his speech), a little brother. He is not so, so, so big! But ask him if he is a baby and he will let you know, “I’m not a baby!”
It is a transitional time in between the baby and the three-year-old child. He is capable of expressing himself, engaging in group imaginative play, and doing things including dressing, eating, going to the bathroom, and more.
In spite of having developed these skills, he is not quite sure he wants to walk through the next developmental threshold. That’s when the birth to three years of life and all that entails are over. As much he is capable of doing so and loves his independence, there is also some trepidation.
Now what will happen? Ok my dear little one, you will practice things you need to learn and when you make mistakes, it is ok. Mistakes are inevitable on the path to learning. Just when you feel the most frustrated, you are on the verge of learning something big! You will meet a new self who is more capable than you have ever dreamed of!
That’s a glimpse of the three-year-old threshold. And it’s real, big, and something to acknowledge, support and celebrate! It is inevitable, there is no going backwards in life, but there are moments of regression when the fear of walking through the door ramps up. Too much looking back can keep us in the past, we need to go forward with courage.
My life’s work is in devotion to early childhood and everyone who supports the development of the young child. My tasks have grown continually more challenging. I have taught, founded a center, and written books. Now, to achieve a wider reach with my new book “Where Wisdom Meets Wonder”, there is another threshold.
And, like my grandson, I am experiencing trepidation. Could someone do it for me (the adult version of feeding, dressing, and soothing)? Could someone just tell me what to do, provide step by step instructions with a guarantee the plan will work, without mistakes, embarrasments, or conflicts? I guess that’s the perfectionist poking her head out! Fear wears many guises.
In the voice speaking to the young child, I need to tell myself that when I am feeling the most frustrated and afraid that I am on the verge of learning something new and big!
What I need to make it happen is inside of me. The more I ask for other’s opinions, the less I hear my inner voice and the more confusing it becomes. That’s the path of self-sabotage which will reinforce a story about self-limiting-beliefs like I can’t do it! I am too old, too shy, too busy, too scared, and on and on.
Then I remind myself. I was led to write a book, have it edited, designed, and published. I will also be led to get it out into the world. It is not the first eye of the needle I have gone through.
Ok. After months of sitting at my desk writing, I am going to leave the comfort of my office and venture out to introduce myself and my message!
That’s the plan and I have a team to help me do it. But like the little guy, I wonder if I have the skills and the courage to allow the kernel planted in my soul to grow and flourish.
Or will I hide, make excuses, and go back into my little office where it feels safe? To tell the truth, reaching a threshold and not walking through it reinforces a vision of someone my age that is incongruent with my message. To share a message of the wise elder begin seen and heard, I need to live it – to let go of my little self and grow. This work is about the universal self – not the personal one.
That’s what I need to remember. My work is about service to something greater than me – love. And my little self can have a cry, a tantrum, a nap, then take my hand and together we will walk through the threshold because it is not about the little self. My three-year-old has been on a path of individuality for a long time and will continue on it until the final threshold of this lifetime.
At that time, my work here will be done. For now, I am not done yet! There are still thresholds to pass through and they are always a little messy, frightening, and overwhelming.
Now I’ve said it! I am crossing the next threshold soon: I am publishing “Where Wisdom Meets Wonder: Forty Stories of Grandma Love” in which I share a lifetime of experience with as many people as I can reach to expand the field of wisdom, love, and freedom in a world that hungers for it.
I continue challenging myself to do hard things because that’s how I build courage. And it takes courage to let go of the little self and to align with the universal one. It takes courage to go through thresholds that lie before us.
The more I do it, the better I get at soothing the inner child and aligning with the universal self, serving what’s greater than me. It’s a practice.
I look forward to seeing you on the other side! Wish me luck! What’s more – courage!
