When my daughter was young, she would ask questions at bedtime, hoping to postpone the lights out moment. One evening, this question came up: “Mommy, what is the saddest thing in your life?”.
Well, that one took be aback and I spent some time pondering it after the lights were out. Eventually, it came to me that my greatest sorrow is that I missed opportunities to love people more. I withheld love, an unlimited resource and the most valuable thing there is to give. Remembering those moments made me feel sad and I wanted to do better.
Today I am thinking about ways to nourish love. It is an important conversation, in a world when incidents of hatred and divisiveness are plenty.
How do we love one another? I often think of the wise words of Fred Rogers who said that whenever we are before another person, we are on sacred ground. That’s a good place to start.
Love is a a set of skills, not a feeling. Practice these skills to increase your ability to love.
1. Notice your state of being and take care of yourself. When you are out of balance, the first thing to do is to get in balance.
2. Tend to your life, your home, and your work with devotion.
3. Get enough rest. Eat well. Exercise. Spend time in nature. Allow room in your schedule for spontaneity.
4. Respect others. Know that they are doing the best they can in any given moment.
5. Communicate clearly and honestly about your needs and wants. Speak from your heart.
6. Do not hesitate to say no or thank you or no thank you. Often.
7. Refrain from blaming. It gets you nowhere. Look to your own behavior and make changes there.
8. Give hugs. Look with eyes of love. Be kind. Be gentle.
9. Give love freely and do not expect anything in return. Give for the sake of giving.
10. Imagine a field of love surrounding you; it is stronger than fear and hatred.
Nurture love in your heart, and share it freely! See what happens when you do.