One of the many pleasures of grandparenting is telling stories while rocking a child in the old wooden chair. The three year old grandson is requesting Goldilocks and the Three Bears lately and I enjoy telling it. In doing so, I am reminded of my childhood but also consider the story’s message as an adult.
What if I could go into a home full of samples to try out and see what suits me? I could leave behind what is too hot or cold, too hard or soft, too big or small and go for only what is just right for me. I suppose that is the experience of shopping or even living, but I must admit that I don’t always focus my search on what is just right, and at times I bring home something that does not suit me. I have more to learn about choosing what’s just right for me. Some things I can learn from the grandchildren.
Although I am sure I knew what was right for me as a young child, in the process of growing up, I adopted self-limiting beliefs that prohibit me from going for it. I tell myself it is taking too much time, costs too much, or is an imposition to someone. There are a myriad of reasons why I may choose what’s not quite good enough instead of holding out for what’s just right. Being fortunate enough to have my survival needs met, I am free to focus on quality of life choices and looking for what is just right for me. Many people in the world do not have this privilege.
Our grandchildren have a sense for this. They routinely avoid what is too hot, tight, sour, uncomfortable or over-stimulating. Their senses can only handle so much before they get outside of themselves, unable to take in and digest what they encountered. There is a prevailing idea that children need a lot of stimulation, but the truth is they are easily over-stimulated so it’s better to avoid too much.
If there is too much stimulation, the best cure for it is to go for a walk in the woods like the three bears. Personally, I like to walk by the water and fortunately I live in an area with many lakes and rivers – some within walking distance. Movement in a natural setting is the best way I know to integrate information and relieve overwhelm.
Our grandchildren love the little lake house and the nature experience there. As soon as winter begins to withdraw, they start asking when we can go to the lake house. We also like it there where there is not too much noise or light or commotion of any sort. It is quiet, peaceful, shady, and at night, so dark we need a flashlight to find our way. Even when it is stormy, we can sit in the sun room and watch the weather over the lake while comfy and cozy inside.
It’s simple there. Nature provides enough without it being too much. But in my day to day life, I am now considering, what does enough look like? For example, enough time, enough money, or enough love. Have I sampled life in such a way to discern what is just right for me? Have I?
I often receive messages to the contrary. When I open my emails, I am bombarded with the idea that whatever I am doing, it is not enough. I should be doing something else.
But I know that is not true for me, it is not aligned with my values. I place a high premium on simplicity and peace of mind. The best way to maintain peace of mind for me is to listen within. If I allow many voices to tell me what I need, I lose track of my values and goals and abdicate the sovereign authority within, the one that knows what is just right for me. That’s when I misuse time and money and lose self-respect, the foundation of self-love.
It is an inside job to know what’s just right. I must sample things to determine for myself. If what I am doing is not just right, it will never be satisfying on a soul level. I am still learning to trust the wisdom of my inner voice and not let messages from the outside drown it out.
Besides peace of mind which is an expansive and freeing form of abundance, I also value time. Time is precious to me, especially as I grow older. Time with my loved ones fills my soul in ways that working too much does not. Having a beautifully tended home to share time with my loved ones, time in nature, social and cultural activities, and a few trips a year are enough. If I don’t overfill my calendar and choose according to my values, I have enough time to do the things I want to do with a feeling of just right-ness.
Since I mentioned shopping above, let’s talk about clothing, which besides food, I shop for most. Clothes are not only necessary but are also a vehicle of self-expression, even self-love. I prefer clothes that are comfortable, durable, and made of fine fabrics that fit well, wear well, and look good on me. When they are seasonal and age-appropriate (but not too restricted in that way), they are just right.
And I don’t want to spend too much time looking for them. I will shop when I need something and go where I expect to find it. It’s the same with household items; I like to surround myself with what is beautiful, seasonal and comforting.
So peace of mind and time are aligned with deciding what is just right. That’s how I make purchases, now what about money?
Money is what I earn in exchange for services. I create inspirational books and courses which I am happy to share. My reasons for earning money are to pay for our grandsons’ education and to take a family trip to Europe for my seventieth birthday in August 2026. They are just right for me at this time in my life.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly there is love – it’s what I value most. It is a self-renewing resource so the more I give, the more I receive. The more aware and grateful I am for the love I receive, the more it grows. Compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude are practices connected to growing love, just like sunshine, weeding and watering help grow the plants in my garden.
When I spend time with my grandchildren, their playful, joyful spirits awaken mine and unconditional love flows in and out. My heart swells and I am so grateful for the gift of these dear souls who remind me of what’s enough and the impact I have on them. In their presence, I am especially mindful of what I say and do, for it will come back to me through them.
Motivated by love, I am inspired to be my best self when in the presence of young children. A child’s inner voice is informed by what they hear from adults. I choose my words carefully.
I love you is a phrase that is just right no matter what.
Thank you makes whatever I have feel like enough. It is always just the right thing to say.
Being in the present moment with a child, time expands; there is enough. There is no need to hurry or to worry.
Now is the time for everything there is to do. And now is always available.
In this moment, I have enough time, money, and love. And if I cannot see it, if I cleanse my lens of perception and look around, I know it to be true.
My life with its ups and downs, challenges and even unfulfilled desires, is just right. And I am grateful for it which is fertilizer for what’s good to grow in my life.
That’s the irony – when I am content with what is, I am open to receive more. And what I receive with an open, grateful heart is always just right.
