Have you ever noticed that when you are facing something new, something challenging, something you don’t yet know how to do, there are often opposing voices in your head?
There is the voice of your inner child who is afraid. I don’t know how to do this. I can’t! Help me!
Then there is the voice of your mature self. You’ve got this! It’s normal to feel frustrated just before you learn something new! Hang in there. I am with you. You are almost there!
Are you familiar with these voices? One is seeking comfort and the other is comforting. The one who seeks comfort is the inner child and the comforter is the inner Mother.
I have been exploring this topic and my personal experience of these aspects of self for many years.
During the process of learning how to self-publish, I have faced many challenges. And both the voices of the inner child and the inner mother have been speaking to me. The inner child’s voice of fear comes automatically, unbidden, from a primal part of the brain.
The other voice, the one of the inner mother is a conscious choice. It has to be developed; the more I connect to it, the more it is available to me.
That is the message of my new book, Where Wisdom Meets Wonder. We all have an inner child, one who is full of joy, wonder, and at times, a lot of emotional energy. It builds when what there is discomfort. Although the world is full of wonder, there are also many challenges to face.
The wonders of the world include: flowers blooming, birds flying, trees losing leaves, bicycle riding, birthdays, making friends and more.
And the challenges include: accidents, being unable to do what you want, friends moving away, pets dying, or activities being cancelled.
The ability to hold onto what you want, to accept what is, and to perservere in getting what you want, is a learned skill. It involves a strong will, emotional centeredness, and the ability to think through problems. This kind of thinking is generated in the frontal lobe, the most advanced part of your brain.
It is the voice of wisdom and it is acquired through experiencing discomfort and gaining the ability to meet challenges. It is the inner mother who develops as we age.
Children are naturally full of wonder about the world. An adult who is also full of wonder connects easily with them.
Parents are often too busy creating and sustaining a new family, that they may miss moments of wonder. Life can be a flurry of tasks. The demands of life and overall perspective on it change as you age.
By the time you become a grandparent, if you have lived consciously, you have gained wisdom, life has slowed down, and you have space to share moments of wonder with young children, your own grandchildren or not. You have come full circle. Life is wonderful and you are wise.
When you have learned to comfort your inner child, your inner mother is capable of comforting others – both children and inner children. The inner mother has the time and space to remain calm in the presence of children’s upsets, including her own inner child’s emotions.
She knows emotional support encourages the child to face challenges. It is now time to reap the benefits of experience and to share the harvest.
I am so grateful to be a woman of my age, to know the benefits of experience that makes it easier to withstand life’s challenges.
Yes, I hear the voice of the inner child wanting what she wants. I also hear the inner mother’s comforting words saying: I hear you, see you, and am here for you.
And by showing myself emotional support, I can access the wise self who is playful, accepting, kind, and loving.
Get to know the voice of the inner child who is seeking comfort and the inner mother who provides comfort.
They are the young child and the wise woman. When we nurture both, we come full circle. And aging is a time of celebration!
