My youngest brother, Brian is amazing, but I might be biased. After all, as a little girl, I named my favorite doll after him and yes, we share a lot of history. Read on to draw your own conclusions.
Not only is he an accomplished academic, but Brian is also a good learner, a learner from life. He is well-travelled – absorbing cultural lessons wherever he goes – like how to be a grateful gift recipient. He has a lot of experience, since he visits many countries where gifting is an important aspect of the culture.
“I happily receive gifts,” he told us when my sister and I arrived bearing gifts for his birthday weekend. He lives on the other side of the same great lake we live on, but it’s not a small lake so we see him less than a handful of times a year. Even less during covid.
Before our sibling weekend, I had been thinking about receiving gifts. In a nutshell, how I have struggled, tried to control, and had expectations about gifts that I am given. I got thinking about it after a few incidents recently. During the pandemic, social interactions have been rare, so more precious.
When a friend visited from out-of-town, she asked if we needed anything to add to our shared meals. I said no, but that did not keep me from expecting something. Sounds like a clash of my conscious and unconscious will! Nonetheless, she offered something, a contact I was looking for. And now what a gift that person is in my life! Gifts come in many forms, not always wrapped up with a bow.
My husband is a generous soul. Throughout the pandemic, when we walked past the restaurant in the park, he would declare that he wanted to celebrate there when the pandemic was over. When he came home one day and said he planned a party for my birthday in that restaurant, I did not receive it well.
I did not think I needed to be the focus of a celebration during a time when many people are struggling and wondering if we should even be gathering. What is so special about my birthday?
What’s special is that my dear husband wanted to celebrate it, that he wanted to have many people come together, for me to see that, despite all the time we have been spending at home, I have people! I am loved!
When he spoke during the party, he thanked everyone whom he called my support group. He read from my blogposts, words that I did not recognize as my own, that I was grateful to hear, that interested others. He honored me.
Only later, thinking back on the experience, I realized what an amazing gift I had been given! That’s what got me thinking about receiving. I came across these words from Tara Mohr that sum it up for me, “It’s the blocks to love that take us to love”. I will add, if we recognize them.
I realize that I been blocked as far as receiving goes. I am a minimalist, so I don’t want a lot of stuff. My husband knows that so he gave me an experience, one that will live on in my heart forever.
What my sister and I shared with our brother last weekend was a gift, a gift of his time, his favorite places, his home, and his thoughts. I can only hope that our presence was as much a gift to him! Did I mention that Brian is also a great gift-giver; he gave us beautiful necklaces that he found on his travels.
Receiving gifts is a part of the flow of loving kindness between people. It goes both ways. I must fill up with what comes to me from another’s generosity to give what comes from my heart. Instead of judging a gift, it’s better to receive it happily, like Brian does.
In this way, we appreciate the giver. Otherwise, we can give a mixed message, like I want gifts and I don’t want gifts, which is confusing to say the least.
I am learning to be ready to receive with an open heart the gifts I am given. When I do not accept a gift, I am blocking an expression of love. Becoming conscious of that, has taken me to what I really want, which is to give and receive love with an open heart.
And I am convinced that there is no greater purpose under heaven.
